Do Men Keep Secrets?
Do you think your sweetheart is hiding something? Well . . . he is! The truth is that even the most committed and open guy is keeping a few secrets. But take heart; in most cases, his secrets won’t undermine your relationship. If you can understand him better, you both can build a stronger bond. Here are a few of the most common secrets men keep.
#1. He can still look. And he does.
Men are hardwired to look at women, especially if they are showing a lot of skin. The natural sex drive in men makes them aware of women even if they don’t look.
His looking does not mean that he’s going to go after another woman or that he finds her more attractive than you. He’s just following the instinct handed down to him over the last million years or so.
#2. He doesn’t really know you – yet.
Women pick up on personality traits naturally. You will understand your guy’s tendencies, intelligence and triggers fairly quickly. However, men are much slower on the uptake. He just won’t sense the particulars of your character until he’s known you very well for a long time.
You may feel sometimes that he doesn’t know you at all. As your relationship develops, however, he’ll begin to understand your depth and complexities, and he’ll love you all the more for it.
#3. He wants to provide.
Your husband or boyfriend may not admit just how much his job and earning potential means for his self-esteem. But most men want to be the main provider in the relationship. He feels that his value depends on his job and income. In addition, he’ll want to be the superman who fixes all your problems, from the drippy faucet to the fight you had with your boss.
#4. He needs time away from you.
No matter how much he loves you, there will be time when he needs to be with the guys or just away. It’s about taking a break from the responsibilities of a committed relationship.
Although he wants to be your superman, he can’t live up to that without a break every now and then. If you can graciously let him take these breaks, he’ll return to you refreshed and even more committed.
#5. He’s still not sure about commitment.
As men put themselves in the position of provider, superman and sensitive partner, they will sometimes look at commitment as an overwhelming lifetime of responsibility. It’s no wonder he may occasionally quail at the idea.
These little panic attacks might cause him to withdraw for a while or get angry at your smallest request. He may not even realize why commitment is so scary, but your patience and understanding will allow him to work through it.
#6. He loves when you pamper him.
Men adore attention from you. He loves you to make him dinner or bring him a beer. Men are more aware of actions than words, and he’ll see these efforts as evidence of your love for him. It doesn’t mean you have to do all the “serving,” but a little thoughtful pampering will be very meaningful to him.
#7. He fantasizes about sex.
Most men have some pretty fantasies. He’ll hide these from you to avoid offending you and to avoid your judgment that his fantasies are deviant. However, if you’re willing to share some of your own fantasies and be open to his, you’ll kick your sex life to the next level. You don’t have to make any of these fantasies real. Just talking about them during sex can provide all the excitement you need.
#8. He likes the romance, but he loves a surprise quickie.
Your man also fantasizes about you inviting him for a quickie. He’ll love it when you initiate sex at an unexpected time and make it clear that you’ve been wanting him. An invitation to a quickie will make him feel sexy and attractive.
#9. He’s insecure.
Men don’t admit insecurity the way women do. They put up a strong, confident front, but they often feel unsure about themselves. Your guy is sensitive about whether his body looks good, whether he performs well in bed, whether he’s getting old, whether he’s a good provider. He won’t ask for re-assurance, but he’ll love hearing that you think he’s amazing, sexy, and smart.
#10. He keeps secrets to save you – and himself.
In general, men will keep the secrets they deem harmful to their soulmates. If telling you may upset or worry you, he’s likely to keep mum. From his point of view, he’s protecting you and avoiding a possible fight.
This may become a problem if he keeps health scares or financial woes from you. Stay aware of what’s going on with him so you can recognize the signs of a problem early on.
We all have a little vault of secrets. Men are no exception. When it comes to a relationship, keeping secrets is normal, but open communication is preferred. You can encourage your guy to share by being honest yourself, by handling tricky news with maturity and understanding, and by giving him the freedom to share of his own volition.