How To Get Him To Commit
It’s a scenario played out all too often. Women sit their men down for “the relationship talk” and try to get their boyfriends to commit to the next step or even (gasp!) marriage. And the men go running.
It doesn’t have to go this way. If you have a great relationship, but he’s not really moving to the next step, you can encourage him. It’s a matter of making that next step feel natural and attractive.
#1. Stand on your own two feet
Men want a partner, not a dependent. He’ll be completely scared off by the idea of having someone rely on him for the basics of life. From his point of view, he can barely take care of himself. So he’ll be much more interested in the long-term commitment when he sees that you can take care of yourself.
Then he knows that you won’t be depending on him. In fact, you could be there to support him emotionally and even financially if he needs it. That’s the kind of woman he wants to link up with for life.
#2. Don’t give up on your independent life
Pursue your own hobbies or take up some new ones (skydiving, anyone?). If you’re not always sitting around waiting for him to call, he’ll see you as a dynamic interesting person he wants to spend more time with.
#3. Focus on your goals, not the vow
One way to get commitment from your boyfriend is to just become committed to each other without any discussion or public ceremonies. It’s important that at least you make it clear that you are not seeing other men.
You should know if he’s seeing other women or not, but don’t make a big relationship deal out of it. Instead, show him that being in a partnership with you is better than anything he’ll find in the field.
#4. Discuss what you want out of life
Even if you two don’t spend time talking about where the relationship is going, talk about where you are going in your lives. Does he really want that next promotion? How can you help and support him to get there? Do you want to remodel your living room? Work together to accomplish it.
Start being partners in mundane tasks as well. Ask him to help out with the preparation for your next party. Or call and see if he needs you to pick up groceries on your way home from work. When you two are living the committed life, making it official is a small step to take.
#5. Keep it light
You may have weighty, future-focused things on your mind, but don’t make life a drudge for your soul mate. Let him know that commitment doesn’t mean the fun stops and the chores begin. Keep laughing. Keep surprising him.
Introduce new fun things to your relationship both inside and outside the bedroom. Men often fear that commitment means boredom. Show him that life with you could never be dull.
#6. Weigh your options
After several months of being together and getting closer and closer, if your guy still doesn’t show any signs of committing, you might want to weigh your options. You can go on as things are or push the issue and live with the consequences. Most relationships graduate to marriage after a few years at the latest.
If you’ve been hanging on too long, you might need to decide whether you want to stay with this guy. Remember that if he really cannot commit or is just not that into you, you are much better off leaving him. Find someone who wants to build the kind of life you’re looking for. No romance is worth giving up the things you really want out of life.
Once you’ve decided that you’ve given him plenty of time and opportunity and that you’re no longer willing to give up on your goals, you can bring it up with him. He might see that you two are already living a committed relationship and feel that the next step is easy.
But if he doesn’t, you can’t cave. You have to let him know that you’re worth more than a casual relationship and you’re going to find the man who can give you that.