Sunday, March 3, 2024

Having An Online Dating Profile Video – Good Or Bad Idea?

Dating Then And Now

So you are back in the dating game again? You find the technology has changed so much from when you last dated. Then it was MSN Messenger chat or leaving a voice message to a profile you liked. Now it’s the scary online dating profiles with video!

You might think well this is great, you can see the potential dates on screen…but they can see you too! Let me explain.

When you have an offline, non-visual conversation whether that be in a letter, a text or an e-mail you are only exposing your thoughts. The person is not getting to see what you look like, right?


Okay, so given that looks and sex appeal are subjective, when you put up a video profile you are revealing more of yourself. Yet you don’t know exactly what that potential date seeks in a partner in terms of how they sound, their looks, how they dress? They are not really topics you discuss online right?

Now it's the scary online dating profiles with video

Pros & Cons Of Having A Dating Profile Video

Do you really look smart?

So just like in recruitment which I worked in for several years, you don’t go putting a photo of yourself on your CV! No way! From personal experience recruiters and headhunters will more often than not screen you out! Why? Because they see and analyse far more than the casual eye!

You may think you look smart in that suit but if it is out of style or you wear it sloppily, it will gain you no points. In fact you will be seen as not professional looking and won’t even get an interview!


I remember one boss of mine when I was a headhunter who said that the guy’s mustache did not look right, it made him look dishonest or something. You can guess who did not get a first interview!

So it is with video profiles being used for getting a date. You may think that shirt is hip and funky. You may like that new hairdo the girl in the salon said everyone is having (or was she just being flattering)?

What I am getting at is that you can’t possibly predict all the preferences that your potential dates might have. Your voice on video may remind them of that ex-stalker girlfriend or boyfriend. You may have the eyes of your divorcee’s father. They might be terrified at the thought of dating their ex-in laws!


Do you now see why video profiles for dating are not a good idea just as photos on CV’s aren’t? Lets look at some more possible reasons as to why you shouldn’t go the video dating route!

Another downside is people use superficial factors such as physical looks and appearances to make dating decision

Embarrassing Videos?

Well you might have someone you know see your profile. If its one of those more risqué, personal online dating sites then they would be very embarrassing!


Another downside is people use superficial factors such as physical looks and appearances to make dating decision. Whatever happened to the old-fashioned fun date of getting to meet someone new?

In those days you might have seen a photo or you may not, but you certainly had not seen their video. So often the chemistry between a couple was based on shared interests, on the chemistry, on that meeting of two minds.

And definitely not on a staged video screen test, rather like an actor testing for a film part! It was so much fun being perhaps being disappointed by their looks but then thrilled by the chemistry and common ground between you both.

The Message The Video Conveys

One aspect that many people in video interviews in recruitment fail to consider is the background. In the background some candidates have been found to have cats traipsing through, a messy bed or an apartment lounge that looks like it has been trashed!

Seriously daters, none of these backdrops are going to endear those with cat allergies (and there are a number of people with this!) or people who are not really into living in a pig sty!

People read a lot into someone's voice, their inflections, their tone

Your Voice

Finally we have the tone of voice you use on your video. People read a lot into someone’s voice, their inflections, their tone and it may not all be complimentary. As mentioned earlier your voice may remind them of someone they would rather forget let alone date!

So while there are a number of dating apps and dating sites that encourage young lovers to leave videos, before you leave one. You might just screen yourself out of the date that would be your perfect match!

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