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Are You the Toxic One in Your Relationship?
Whenever something goes wrong in our relationships, our friends and family comfort us by saying, ‘It’s not your fault!’ Yes, it is not always our fault. But the same is the case with our partners too. It is not always their fault too! Blaming your partner for everything wrong in your relationship is easy, especially when you have already decided that you are not in the wrong. However, sometimes, when looking for faults, you need to use a mirror and not a telescope.‘ You Are the Toxic One in Your Relationship’.
We may find the real problem staring back at you in the mirror. Identifying and accepting your toxicity is hard, but if you can do it, you can mend many cracks in your relationship and lay the foundation for a strong connection. But how can you find out that you’re the one at fault? A few red flags you need to look out for are listed below: Signs That You are the toxic one in your relationship.
What To Do If You Are the Toxic One in Your Relationship
1. The relationship is all about ‘You.’
‘I, me, and I’ are the 3 most important words in your dictionary. All things in your relationship happen as per your wishes. Your partner has no say whatsoever, and you can never let them have their way in the relationship. You are always in the ‘My way or the Highway’ mode. If your behavior is like that of a selfish, entitled brat, it is clear that you are the toxic one in the relationship.
2. You have got a master’s degree in manipulation
At times when things start getting out of your control, you begin the game of manipulation. You can go to any length to get things done your way. If necessary, you may even resort to gaslighting without batting an eyelid. You always want to have the upper hand in the relationship, even if it requires you to lie to your partner. However, such manipulative behavior can cause irreparable damage to your relationship.
3. You always play the victim card
‘Hello, my name is Victim.’ That’s how you usually introduce yourself. You tend to be a person who creates the problem, and then you get upset by your actions. You believe being not very good is the best way to get out of a relationship. Therefore, you are deliberate in making your partner feel offended or guilty.
4. You don’t believe in ‘doing things together.’
Most of the time, your partner makes all the efforts, whether in the relationship or at the house. Treat your partner like your servant and want them to get everything done correctly. All you do is sit around and keep giving orders to your partner.
A relationship will not thrive if you continue with your bossy tactics. It is important to remember that you and your partner are equal and must be treated likewise.
5. You give the silent treatment
The silent treatment is when you intentionally refuse to talk to your partner, especially after a fight. Many couples use this as a means to avoid conflicts. But, the silent treatment is toxic and detrimental to the relationship’s health.
Giving someone the silent treatment speaks volumes about your character. If you resort to stonewalling, you deliberately try to shut down your partner. You are resorting to abusive tactics in your relationship by giving the silent treatment.
6. ‘Breakup’ is your go-to word
According to you, the solutions to all the problems in your relationship lie in the phrase ‘Let’s just Breakup!’. You are constantly threatening your partner that you will break up with them.
More often than not, you use this threat to blackmail your partner emotionally. It appears that you would instead end the relationship than make efforts at mending it. However, the danger may work for a while, but if you continue to misuse it repeatedly, your partner will eventually stop taking it seriously. There will come a time when neither the relationship will matter nor the breakup.
7. You want to mold your partner in your way
You fail to realize that your partner is an individual first. They have their likes, dislikes, habits, and preferences. They may not be perfect, but neither are you. Nobody is perfect. You have to accept your partner the way they are because we come to love not by finding the perfect person but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.
8. You don’t stick to your partner
In any relationship, a couple is a team. Strong relationship forms when you can assure your partner that you will always have their back and support them and vice-versa. Talking behind your partner’s backs, slandering them for no reason, and humiliating them unnecessarily are all signs of a toxic person. If you can’t stick to your partner, they won’t stick around in the relationship for long either.
9. You do not hold yourself accountable for any mistakes
You see yourself as the saint and never the sinner. Always you are color blind to your faults. Playing the blame game is your favorite pastime. You cannot even recognize your responsibilities, let alone admit them. However, if you want your relationship to survive, you must stop blaming others and focus on finding ways to solve the problems.
10. Your life is full of Drama
Endless gossip, mind games, and backstabbing plays a central role in your life. More often than not, your relationships begin or end on dramatic notes. However, when you carefully analyze things, you will see that drama doesn’t just walk into your lives.
Either you create it, invite it in or associate with it. If you want to end the drama in your life, you need to stop being an actor. The drama will automatically end when accountability steps in.