Dating your friend’s ex-boyfriend – Should You?
When a friend sleeps with your ex, is that okay? I wonder how far is too far when it comes to friendship. If we don’t take note of the dos and don’ts of relationships, we are doomed. Some agree it’s possible dating your friend’s ex-boyfriend only if she doesn’t show any romantic feelings for him.
The fact is there are rules one should follow. It’s an uncomfortable ordeal most friends hate to deal with in their lifetime. Is it cool, though, to date your friend’s ex even if your friend has already moved on to someone else? The rule of thumb is you never date your friend’s ex-boyfriend! But then again, there may be a time or two when it’s actually okay.
*If you think you make a perfect match, you are good to go. It’s a daunting state, but who cares?*
If She’s Okay, Dating Your Friend’s Ex-boyfriend is Okay
Girls heal their heartaches in mysterious ways. In reality, girls hate to look like they are desperate for love, so your friend will lie. They will forever stand in one code and cry like Niagra Falls in the other. Please respect that your best friend may not jump for joy when you tell her what you want to do.
It’s heartbreaking to watch someone you loved fall in love with someone else. It’s worse if the guy ditched her and not vice versa. If you date your friend’s ex, there will always be jealousy and envy. Girl code is all about sticking up for one another and not bringing each other misery.
Not a Big Deal to You, But She’s Hurting
Falling in love with the ex means disagreements and hurt feelings. Even the tiniest things could turn into a huge confrontation. The fights escalate because she’s upset that you are seeing her ex. The truth is, if you’re really her friend, you won’t date your friend’s ex. It could only lead to broken friendships.
Before you realize you were wrong, it will be too late. I get it, it may not be a big deal to you initially, but your closest friend is hurting. In the end, you will see why she quit him. No one wins in this case.
Dating an Acquaintance’s Ex-boyfriend
Be upfront and ask her if you are unsure of your decision. Take the bull by its horns, but respect her decision and value her feelings. According to Fran Greene, LCSWR, she may agree with you dating her ex, especially if you ladies are strictly social media friends. She may be a little upset, but sooner or later, she will get over it.
If He’s a Cheater, Let Him Go
Don’t live in fairytales. Try to find out why your friend’s relationship ended in the first place. If it was all about trust issues and all, let him go. It doesn’t matter how much he has pleaded. He isn’t worth your love. If he weren’t faithful to your friend, he would not be loyal to you. He will not change because you’re his girlfriend now.
If your friend did the breaking up, she probably won’t mind you taking him off her hands, but the question, in this case, is why you would want to?
When Do You Date Your Friend’s Ex-boyfriend?
As soon as she utters, she’s serious with someone else, this may be the best time to start dating someone your friend dated before. That is to say, she has already moved on without a hitch. Try talking to her, and let her know how you feel about her ex-boyfriend. Dating your friend’s ex could end up being a messy situation in terms of your friendship if she still cares for him.
Long-term Relationships vs Passing Fancy
If it’s not something serious, don’t bother. Love takes time, and if you suspect it isn’t leading to a potential long-term relationship, don’t do it. Remember the awkwardness of seeing a friend and ex-lover together in group settings.
Besides, you never know what lies ahead of you. Still, we don’t suggest you break your friend’s heart because you lust after her ex-boyfriend. However, if you truly love him, and he returns the feeling, give it a try. Sometimes these things do work out for good—the best of luck to you all.