Why Do We Get Lonely?
You may have a large family, lots of friends, a loving partner but it is still normal to be lonely and even blue. Many people live far away from family, may live in a foreign city or not be that sporty reducing their options for socializing. This article is written for you to give you hope. This is to make you realize you are not alone.
There are thousands, if not millions of people globally feel exactly as you do. Add to this our high tech’, fast paced lifestyles and the sensation of at times being in an isolated “bubble” hits all of us from time to time. Here are some proven home remedies to beat the loneliness blues.
#1. Go For A Walk
Get out and go for a walk around the block. There is not even a need to get in your car. You will also be surprised how many of your neighbors are doing the same thing, for exactly the same reason. Also of course to get the daily exercise. Who knows you might even make a new friend in a neighbor!
Another home remedy for loneliness is to call up a friend to go and see a movie. If they are not available take yourself off and see what you want to see. Ignore the fact that you are alone. Many people go to the movies alone for all sorts of reasons. Why shouldn’t you? Often just getting out of your home and being among other people can be enough to jolt you out of your loneliness.
Okay so you are feeling lonely. Chances are you have just let the fact you are alone get the better of you. If you stop for a moment and think about it. Here is a chance to listen to good music in solitude. Often listening to music can change your mood as this an excellent natural remedy for loneliness.
Many scientists and therapists believe you start with say blues music, which tends to wail of loneliness;-)…then gradually move your mood along by raising the temp, finally ending up with more positive, outward thinking music.
Alternatively there are times when you feel lonely that chill out music or classical music is perfect. It is calming, restful, pure in sound and does not cause you any more disharmony. Think of it as music washing over you and most people like either chill out or classical music.
Go for a run. This is different from a walk. You are running the loneliness away! Sometimes the more physical activity of jogging or running, building up a sweat is more therapeutic for someone feeling lonely. Of course adding your favorite music to the mix attached to your iPod arm band can make an otherwise long run, seem like no effort and give you motivation to keep going. Plus it will take your focus away from being lonely. Just be sure to watch for cars as you cross at roads!
#5. Visit someone sick, ill or infirm
Alternatively offer to do something for someone less fortunate than you. There is always someone in this life who has more on their plate than you, is finding daily life tougher. When you go to help them a funny, strange thing happens. You forget your own (lonely) situation and reach out to them, feeling better that you have done something for someone else selflessly.
It is almost like the good karma of doing something for someone else rewards you with a heartfelt good feeling and the loneliness vanishes. Your purpose of brightening someone else’s day even if briefly overrides your own internal thoughts and you feel a part of things.
If you have family, even if they are far away, pick up the phone, even e-mail. Just communicating in some way will make you feel you are connected to them. Besides in today’s fast technology world chances are you may hear back from them sooner than you think!
#7. Meet Up
Out of today’s online social networking has come a reverse social model of trying to get people to meet more offline. The company that started this network in New York is called Meet Up. You will find that most cities around the world have meet up groups. These range from sports groups, to arts interest groups to dating and social outing groups.
They are a brilliant way to add a range of social events and expand your social circle, whether you are new in town or just wanting new friends. If you find your area does not have a Meet up group at all you can start one!
One of the reasons many people feel the need to have religion or spirituality in the lives is the sense of needing something extra. Like you they feel with all the worldly material mundane trappings, all the social scenes, all the career success, they still feel that sense of loneliness. Many people turn to God, churches, religion or spirituality to fill this void that we term loneliness. They sense that we have everything else in the world but there is still something missing.
#9. Team Sports
While some people prefer to do the solo fitness activities like walking, running and swimming, others prefer more interactive team-focused sports like rugby, netball, cricket, soccer. Once again even if you are not a pro and have not played since high school, look up sports groups in your area. You will be surprised on the number of fun, amateur groups that might suit your interest. Spending time together as a team is one of the best natural remedies for loneliness.
#10. Cultural Arts
Many people not interested in sports or physical fitness, throw themselves with a passion into the Arts. This includes operas, theatre, organized cultural dinners with theme nights. You meet lots of new people and you extend your knowledge of global cuisines as well as having lots of fun!
So…next time you feel lonely and a bit blue at the same time think and say to yourself…”I am never alone”. You always have options. You can also choose to just enjoy “You” time, valuable down time when you just “be”. Our modern society is so frenetic rushing here, rushing there, we have forgotten the art of just existing, of reflecting on our past actions, on plans for the future or just simply listening to calming music in our own beautiful solitude.
Given most of us get such little time to do not much and on our own, relish the quiet time by yourself. You may even learn to love solitude. Remember solitude is a very different thing to feeling alone. Solitude is a healthy, mature state of mind, that accepts that it is healthy to spend time alone than with others. It is not abnormal even if our society makes it so.
Rather society is abnormal with it’s obsession to be on the go all the time and to not want people to be alone, for them to feel it is uncool or “sad”. Also bear in mind, many people seemingly not alone, out in crowds, are thinking “I wish I could meet new people, I am getting tired of this crowd, we never do anything new and they are so fake”….they too may be wanting to meet a new genuine friend just like you.
And if you want to get out, stretch your legs, you know now there are lots of options for you to connect with people. It is all just a mindset that you can change by modifying your attitude next time you think. “Here I am again, in on my own. Stop that thought and ask yourself which of the above do you want to do.
Whatever you do end up doing, realize the sense of “loneliness” you feel is an epidemic of our modern society, what makes a difference is how you respond to that fact.
Make it happen today! Try the above natural home remedies and banish loneliness from your lives.
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