Monday, September 27, 2021

Marrying Versus Living Together: And Having Kids

Marrying Versus Living Together and Having Kids

Should you live together before you get married? My partner and I thought long and hard about marrying versus living together, and then the question about kids came up. We had never given it much thought before, and making a decision can get a little tricky if you don’t want kids and your partner does.

However, once we told our friends and family we didn’t want to have kids yet, we were all of a sudden the center of attention. There were loads of questions, and the whispers made us feel just awful.

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The truth is my parents disapprove of living together before marriage, but they never had to utter a single word to know what they were thinking. You could tell by the look on their faces.

Some people only wonder what life is like without kids. At the same token, more couples are holding on to their ‘me’ time a little longer these days. We all have choices, different opinions, and views. Don’t let other people bother you if you don’t want kids or if you don’t want to get married, relax – it’s your choice, your life.

*It’s strange how people believe that having kids is the only pathway for a happy life. Whether married or living together, you have your own goals and life to live.*

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Your Biological Clock Is Ticking, So What?

I know we’re getting older each year, but we don’t give a dime. We are comfortable the way we are. Keep your dopamine levels and hormones at ease if you don’t want kids. You’ve probably visualized being the best parent in the world, but wait till reality hits you in the face.

Being married with children is not like the Brady Bunch, but it could be more like Cheaper By the Dozen in some cases. No parent is perfect, and they don’t always have the answers. Until you’re ready, the best advice is not to have children.

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Marrying Versus Living Together/Husband vs BF

What is the difference between being married and living together anyway? It makes a big difference in a child’s life, especially if the father is not on the birth certificate. Having kids means you should be both psychologically and physically ready. Children should have two adults as parents, preferably living in the same household.

More to the point, some people believe kids should have married parents and not living together as boyfriend and girlfriend. Are you and your partner up for the challenge?

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Your Friend’s Kid has a Fever

So, you and your friend plan a night out, however, your friend’s baby is not well, and now you have to cancel your plans. Having to cancel your plans is unfortunate, but it happens when you have kids. Since you know nothing about childbearing, you probably think your friend won’t bother you about advice, but this is not necessarily true.

Not having kids doesn’t mean a woman can’t relate to motherly issues. On the other hand, you may not understand the big deal about a fever. If this is the case, you have much to learn about babies.

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Have Kids? You’ll Need More Money!

Before the kids came, you could splurge on fabulous weekend trips and shopping sprees. Now, you have kids, and you have more responsibilities and more bills to pay. Sometimes, having kids means putting your life on hold simply because you need money now, not in seven years when you graduate college.

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Giving Birth vs. Adopting    

The last thing you have to cling to is love – for yourself and your partner. It’s okay if you don’t want to interrupt your life with the adorable attention-seeking crumb snatchers right now. Besides, there are tons of children waiting for someone to adopt them if and when you decide to become a parent.

After all, there isn’t any rule that says when you live together or get married, you must have children. Couples should plan to bring children into this world, especially when they debate marrying versus living together.

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Having Children in Marriage Is a Persistent Myth

Does marriage feel different? Neither marriage nor parenthood is a walk in the park, but you feel or should feel more obligated to stay that way when you’re married. However, you both may have to sacrifice your own needs and wants at some point and focus on the development of your child.

You and your friends will likely replace the latest gossip with an exchange of baby pics and carpools. Things change when you have kids and if you don’t want them now, relax. You can have one later.

Marrying Versus Living Together Peer Pressure

Has it reached a point where visiting your friends is a no-go zone for both of you? You prefer to stay at home and watch an endless series or go for a hike. If this is what makes you both happy, do it regularly. Don’t even think of changing your mind after listening to other people. Let go of the pressure and stand your ground. Make your own decision and choices.

You Are Complete, With or Without a Child

Aside from social pressure, know you are great whether you are a father to someone or not. Let no one manipulate your decision. When it comes to marrying versus living together and having kids, it’s not for everyone.

Not everyone wants to be a parent or wants the responsibility of raising a child. When it comes to living together without kids, it’s okay. That is to say, you can have a fulfilling life regardless. Always trust and believe in your instincts. A happy and blissful life is possible with or without a child of your own.

Last Thoughts on Marrying Versus Living Together

Why get married if you’re already living together? There are a lot of reasons to make the relationship legal if you’re contemplating having children. Still, you control your life. There isn’t a doubt you are doing it well and without the blame games. You’re responsible for the path your life takes. Having said that, if you want kids, have them. If you don’t, then protect yourself. Doing it your way is the only way to live a happy and memorable life.



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