You’ve shared everything with your best friend. It seems you two have been pals forever, but not something feels awkward. Could your BFF be in love with you? Whether she or he’s declared his feelings or he’s just sending you signals, here’s some tips for handling this tricky situation.
Does Your Friend Love You?
#1. Face it head on
If you are starting to suspect your best friend has fallen in love with you or has a crush, don’t dismiss it. If he or she tells you directly, don’t panic and pretend he’s joking. Take his feelings seriously. Let him know how much he means to you – even if you don’t feel that way about him.
If he’s acting like a lover but hasn’t said anything, you might want to take the reins and ask him about it. When you do, be sure that you’re in a place and time when you can have a heart-to-heart if needed.
#2. Let him save face
Your friend might claim that you’ve misunderstood. He never felt “that way” about you. He was just joking to see how you’d react. These are face-saving techniques that allow him to avoid embarrassment.
Don’t challenge him. Laugh at how gullible you are and let him know you’re glad it was just a misunderstanding. Then give him some room to lick his wounds.
#3. Don’t take advantage
Having someone profess feelings for you can make you feel great – even powerful. But don’t take advantage of his feelings by asking for lots of favors or flirting with him.
Some girls want to keep a guy wanting her even as she rejects him. This is cruel. If you care for him as a friend, you’ll want him to find real love somewhere, and you need to give him the chance to do it by not keeping him enthralled to you.
#4. Don’t avoid him or her, but give him some space
Show him you’re willing to go on as before as long as he is. If he’s acting strange, give him some time, but let him know that if he wants to go back to friendship, you’re OK with it. Make the choice his.
#5. Stay alert to his actions
If he or she claims that he understand you’re not interested, but still acts possessive or hangs around too much, he’s probably not telling you the truth. Let him know which of his actions are making you uncomfortable.
If he reacts defensively, he probably still has feelings. Go back to giving him space. You are hard to get over, but he should be able to do it given time.
#4. Move on if necessary
If you’re trying to go back to being friends and it’s just not working, consider that your friendship may have moved to a new place. People change, and their relationships change with them.
If he’s not able to go back to a friend place, you can’t force it. It’s not his fault you’re so fabulous! Find another friend to spend the majority of your time with and let him heal. Maybe he’ll come back at some point.
#5. Date him!
Some of the best love matches start as friendships. Are you interested? If so, go for it. If you think you might be interested, but you never really thought about it, tell them that you’re willing to try it, but you’re not yet sure.
Make sure he understands that you want to take things slowly and explore this new dimension of your relationship together. Be aware that if it doesn’t work out, you may have some rough times, but the possibility of a true love could be worth it.
When you realize that your best friend is pining for you, it can be a huge shock. You’ll feel surprise, disbelief, fear, and panic. But you’ll also feel flattered and loved. However you handle it, keep in mind what your long-time pal has meant to you and treat him accordingly. That way, you’ll have a good chance of keeping your best friend in the end even he or she doesn’t become your boyfriend or girlfriend.
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