Are You Ready For Marriage?
So you think you have found the partner for life, the person of your dreams. That is great and its time to raise a glass to celebrate the long road of a single’s life taken to get to this point.
But wait a minute! There are a few things the two of you need to discuss when you are engaged and it’s not just who sleeps on which side of the bed!
Let’s discuss the check list of things that a girlfriend and boyfriend need to discuss before you tie the knot:
7 Things Every Engaged Couple Should Discuss
Do you want to live in a city long-term or does one of you want to live in the country, in a more remote location? This may not seem important when you are madly in love. Down the track though one partner may have a real desire to live in a specific location. If the other does not agree then there is the real chance of relationship strain. Even if one concedes to others plans there may be ongoing resentment.
Do you both want children or does one of you not want them at all? This is especially important for women. There is a limit on the age that women can healthily and realistically give birth. For men there is more flexibility. Having children or the option of having children is on the mandatory list.
#3. Childhood Rearing
Do you both share the same attitude to bringing up children in terms of discipline, in terms of eduction and religion? This point is almost as important as the very discussion on whether to have children in the first place. Relationships and marriages can break down when parents have totally different attitudes on this point.
Now you are an official couple you need to openly discuss all aspects of sex. Talk about how important it is to you in the relationship. Even be as pragmatic as to express how often you would like to have sex. This may seem very clinical but many relationship flounder when one looks outside the marriage to have more sex due to the other’s lower sex drive.
If there is a discrepancy in your sex drive discuss ways in which you can accommodate this or negotiate this. Maybe the partner with a lower sex drive can have sex a bit more often than they would like to satisfy the other partner and prevent them straying. They can of course use sex aids, imagination and romance to help satisfy the other partner’s higher sex drive.
An important point on the list is, what are the plans for both of your careers. Will one be a stay at home parent or will you alternate? Will one of you want to study full-time at some point? These are all questions you need to broach before marriage.
We mentioned this in terms of children but what about the both of you? Does one of you have a strong faith, is the other an agnostic or atheist? This can sometimes be made to work, but other times religion or lack of religion can really divide a couple.
Usually on top of the person’s own religious beliefs there is the parent’s religious beliefs and pressures on the couple, especially if the partner comes from an extremely religious family upbringing.
You need to have some common interests so the two of you can enjoy some activities together. On the other hand you also need separate pastimes so you can continue to develop individually within the relationship.
So there you have it. These seven are a must for discussion when you get engaged.
There are of course other topics such as how you like to live ( a clean house versus a practical house), types of food. Then again hopefully you will have not been complete strangers to one another during the courtship process. Some of these questions and even some of the seven areas listed above may have been broached upon during your dating period.
Even if this is the case you need to re-visit. Both of you need to know what you are entering into as you also need to let the other partner know what to expect in return:-)