You think you just met the woman of your dreams and you want to win her over. Not so fast! Ask yourself what is it about this girl that makes her special? And then decide how to win her over. Furthermore, what did you feel between you both that makes you think that it is mutual? Was it love or something else?
Guys tend to fall into two camps with women: the ones that feel that their crush is out of their league and the ones that don’t think anyone is out of their league.
Is Your Girl Interested In You?
To see the difference you need to pay attention to some clues from your intended love interest. If the girl is interested in you watch for some of these cues:
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She will likely look in your direction and hold your gaze multiple times when there is an attraction. This is different than a double take – which is what a woman might do if she thinks there is something off about another person. Eye rolling is NOT eye contact.
If she turns her back to you, she is probably not interested – i.e. no eye contact, unless she looks back. This could be that she is shy, but if she does not look back she is not interested.
She Smiles At You
A woman who is truly interested will smile. She might smile and then look down or away shyly, but will try to catch your eye again to see if you are smiling back. If she smiles at you like you are a lost puppy, she is not likely to be interested in you romantically, especially if you look like you have been living in mountains for the past six months or you act like you’ve finished off half a keg.
She Wants To Be Near You
If you move close enough to speak to her and she doesn’t move away and keeps some eye contact, she is likely waiting for you to introduce yourself or at least say a few words. As liberated as women may be, many still appreciate the guy taking the first step.
Don’t be trite, cocky or brash – a tacky pick up line will turn her away. Remember, there is only one chance to make a first impression. Be genuine, ask her a question, or simply introduce yourself. If she answers warmly with a smile and eye contact, then you have started a conversation.
If her answer is short or hurried there is a good chance she is not interested. Pay attention to her body language and her eyes – she will be doing the same with you. If she thinks you are overly confident, she may peg you as the kind of guy who thinks no one is out of his league, a player if you will, and that is a turn off to most women.
She Drops Hints
Listen carefully. If there is interest she may drop hints about where she likes to hang out or what she is doing over the next few days, or even how she likes to be contacted. These are pretty sure signs that she is giving you the chance to insert yourself into the conversation, the plans, or trying to see if you have any mutuality.
She wants to find out if you have something in common – a good sign she is trying to engage you in taking a next step. Even if you don’t get her number she may mention that she is on Facebook or LinkedIN – this is a great way to find her even if it is through a mutual friend.
If she is not interested she will not share those hints with you and looking her up that way may be seen as ‘stalkerish’. Hopefully you pick up on her breadcrumbs and ask if you can contact her – giving you a way to contact her is a sure way to know she is interested.
Dating: The Next Step
Once you make the call and you are on your way to dating there are a few things that will help you stay on her mind. Every woman wants to feel beautiful and loved. Nothing beats a genuine and sincere compliment. Telling her how hot you think she is could be a turn off.
Women do not want to hear you lust over them so avoid always complimenting her body or looks. When you focus on her physical appearance you are telling her that you are mostly interested in her for that. Remember, women are emotional beings; they enjoy being appreciated for their ability to make you feel happy to be with them.
Be genuine – be yourself – sure you are a guy and you are going to find her sexy, but you can tell her that without being crass. You’ll need to find or learn how to balance the emotional and physical to make her happy.
What Men Should Keep In Mind
Women care about the little things. Sweat the small stuff and be romantic. For many this is not in your nature as a guy so you will likely need to do a little planning. Listen to what she likes – ask about her. Listen to what she has to say. She will be swept away by something as small as remembering her mention a restaurant she wants to visit, then take her there as a surprise date.
You don’t have to overdo it here – you don’t want to set yourself or her up for an unrealistic expectation that you will always be a romantic if that is not who you are. Likewise don’t get caught up in doing things she likes just to make her happy at the expense of ignoring your own thing.
It is disappointing for anyone to find that the person that they have fallen for was behaving a certain way just to get what they wanted – not unlike finding that someone is not who you think they are. Remember to be genuine.
Don’t let chivalry die. Be a gentleman, but not a doormat. Be confident – not cocky. Ask her if you can open her door for her. If she is first and doesn’t wait for you to open doors, don’t take that as she never wants you to open her door.
Little things like walking between her and the road can be protective – not overbearing and showing you care. Assume she wants her man to be her knight in shining armor. Even the most independent modern women still appreciate chivalry.