Your Best Friend Hates Your Boyfriend
When you’ve found that terrific guy, you want your family and friends to love him, especially your best friend who’s supposed to share in your happiness.
But what if she’s resistant?
You can’t make her love him, but you might be able to find out what’s going on and get her to accept him.
#1. First, find out what she’s feeling
Ask your best friend what’s really going on. Encourage her to open up and don’t get upset if she says unflattering things about your boyfriend. If she gives you a general opinion, such as “he is so selfish,” ask her for specifics so you can understand what’s behind her feelings.
#2. Does she have a point you should consider?
Your best friend has known you forever and she wants you to be happy. She may be seeing behavior that worries her. If she thinks your boyfriend doesn’t respect you, uses you or isn’t faithful, she’ll detest him. When you hear what she has to say, think carefully about whether her comments make sense.
If she is making sense, you may need to address some issues with your boyfriend. You may need to stand up for yourself or refuse to put up with his bad actions. If she’s opened your eyes to a really bad situation, you might even consider ditching the guy.
But if she’s misinterpreting his actions, then you can explain how you see his behavior from your point of view. Ask her if she can be open-minded towards him. She might have gotten a bad first impression, which has colored her opinion. Let her know that you hear her, but you think she might be too harsh and it will mean a great deal to you if she can start over with him.
#3. Talk it over with your boyfriend as well
It’s a good bet he’s picked up on the chilly reception from your best friend. He may have formed his own poor opinions of her. Let him know that she had concerns but you two discussed it. Ask him to be open-minded towards her as well. And explain how important it is to you for the two of them to respect each other.
#4. The next step is to get them together
When you do, try to have others around as well. If they feel uncomfortable with each other for a while, having additional people around gives them a safe outlet if they need to take a break from each other. Be sure that you pay attention to both of them and encourage them to interact.
If they fall into bickering, remind them that they’re starting over and it’s important to you that they get along. Don’t expect them to love each other overnight. If they can just let go of initial bad impressions and reserve judgment, it‘ll be a great first step.
In The End… It’s Your Decision
After all your efforts, you still can’t force your BFF to love your guy. If she doesn’t come around, you have to remember that her attitude is not your responsibility. You’ll need to choose whether you want to keep spending time with her.
There’s nothing wrong with having a friend that you only see when your boyfriend’s not around. Everyone needs a little girl time. But if she can’t stop running him down, then you won’t enjoy your time with her. It might make sense to find a new bestie.
Your best friend wants you to be happy as a couple. She’ll watch your boyfriends carefully to make sure they treat you like you deserve. But when she sees he’s OK, she’ll come around quickly. Her initial dislike will be easy to overcome if he’s really a great guy. And if she doesn’t come around, maybe she doesn’t have your best interest at heart after all.