It’s a moonlit night. Soft breezes rustle leaves in the background. Your date looks terrific and you’ve just been laughing together. Then the laughter dies into a poignant pause. This is the time to go for the kiss. It’s also the time to freeze like the proverbial deer in headlights. What if I don’t kiss well? What if it seems all awkward and wrong? What do I do??
First of all, don’t panic. Many great relationships have survived bad kisses. And handling physical awkwardness with humor and aplomb will serve you well in case your relationship leads to sex (which is never, never how they show it in movies). But kissing is one of the most important physical expressions of love and having a good kissing strategy will help you both make the most of the moment.
Perfect Kissing Tips
#1. Make Yourself Inviting
There’s no bigger turnoff than bad grooming. These are the basics. Make sure you smell nice and have good breath. Brush and floss regularly and, yes, skip the onions at dinner. Small sacrifice for a great snog. If you’re worried about your breath after a meal, drinking water is a great way to clear out odors. There are also lots of breath drops that can discreetly knock out odors.
#2. Look for the Invitation
An unwanted kiss is always embarrassing. Look for signs that your date is open to kisses. They will lean toward you or touch you. If you touch them, a soft caress on the cheek or hair, they will lean toward you in response. These are good signs that a kiss is welcome.
#3. Kiss with your Hands
Just as a caress on the check can lead to the lean-in and the kiss, keeping your hand on your date’s neck or shoulder can help guide you together. Caressing your date during the kiss will increase the sensation and intimacy. Don’t cling for life, but let your lover know that you’re loving the physical closeness.
#4. Be Dynamic
Movie kisses from the black-and-white era used to show stars pressing their closed lips together in some kind of facial wrestling move. This was the morality censors’ idea of a passionate kiss, which clearly they had never experienced.
There is nothing worse than a kisser who never moves. Keep your lips slightly apart, but don’t open your mouth and try to swallow your date. Move your lips as if you are caressing your partner’s lips. Use a strong pressure, but don’t press so hard you push your partner back.
Press a little and then lighten up so your partner can come to you. You want a give and take between each other where each of you has a chance to be more and less aggressive.
#5. Use your Tongue to Enhance the Kiss
Never start a kiss with your tongue. Let the lips warm the kiss up and create the rhythm. As you two are pressing closer together and caressing each other more, then use your tongue to caress your partner’s lips gently.
If they respond with their tongue, then you can explore each other’s mouths and tongues more deeply. As with the lips and the pressure, keep the tongue moving, touching new areas, advancing and retreating and inviting.
#6. Open your Eyes
Your date got you all excited by looking so great, so why close your eyes for a smooch? Gazing into your partner’s eyes during kissing or sex is one of the most exciting things you can do. It strengthens intimacy and passion and cements the bond between you.
#7. Take a Break
Every now and then, it’s just fine to gently pull back. Look at your partner. Kiss a cheek or neck or nibble an earlobe. It’s a great time for intimate pillow talk. A break lets you both swallow, take a breath, find a more comfortable position if needed. Focusing away from the lips for a minute also keeps the sensation in the lips high when you go back to kissing.
#8. Enjoy Yourself
Kissing should be fun and should feel great. If it doesn’t, work with your partner to adjust. Don’t be afraid to ask for changes, such as less tongue or more pressure. Make sure you’re both comfortable. If you have a real connection with your date, you should be able to find a kissing technique that you both love.
Everyone loves a fabulous kiss. It’s a wonderful way to get to know a romantic partner. It doesn’t need to lead to sex. In fact, early in a relationship, kissing may be all you want to do. But what you learn about your partner and the bond you develop through kissing can be the best indication that when you get to sex eventually, it will be amazing!!