9 Alarming Signs Of A Desperate Man
It’s ironic that the people most likely to attract the opposite sex are the ones who need a partner the least. Or at least look like they do. When you date a man for the first time, you’ll both want to impress the other. But if he’s trying too hard, he may be really desperate.
Desperation means he’s not comfortable with himself. He will make big emotional demands on you. It’s best that you step away from that kind of boyfriend. Here’s how to figure out if a man’s desperate and way too needy for you.
#1. He fishes for compliments
He’s looking to you to bolster his self-esteem, which means he needs lots of compliments and reassurance. The desperate dater will shamelessly cast around for compliments. He’ll run himself down in the hopes that you’ll point out his general awesomeness.
#2. He calls, emails, texts, calls again
Even if he’s just had one date, he’s trying to spin it into a committed relationship, and he’s afraid you’re going to leave him. So he’s in constant contact. If you don’t respond, he may get angry or upset. He’ll call even more, or call your friends at work looking for you.
#3. He wants to move in after the 2nd date
Maybe you’ve had a couple of dates and he hasn’t seemed too needy, but if he starts talking about commitment, living together, stepping up your relationship after just a few dates, then he’s pushing you way too fast. This is a sure sign that he doesn’t want a relationship with you. He wants a relationship with anyone who’ll have him.
#4. He lavishes you with gifts
Flowers and candy or small keepsakes are fine early relationship gifts, but expensive, large and numerous gifts come with a red flag rather than a red bow. The desperate man is going to use gifts as a bribe for your affections. He’s thinking that if you see him as a sugar daddy, you’ll be happy to hook up.
#5. He literally clings
The desperado will of course always be around. And he’ll insist on always touching you. He’ll have his arm around you, take your hand, and stay physically close to you. Touching a woman is a man’s way of saying that you’re his and letting other suitors know they should back off. He’ll be upset if you move away.
#6. He’s a serial dater
Your desperate guy will have tried to cling on to women before you. He’ll likely tell you about these ladies he dated and complain that they didn’t appreciate or understand him. He’ll tell you that they weren’t serious and they treated him badly. He’ll compare you favorably to them in an effort to make you feel that his string of bad luck came from these unsuitable other women, not from his own behavior.
#7. There’s no sign of his friends
If he’s clinging to you for dear life, you probably won’t see any evidence of a social circle of his own. This is a guy who defines his own value through a romantic relationship, so he doesn’t know how to develop friendships.
#8. He’s into emotional blackmail
When your lover sees you as the source of all his happiness and unhappiness, he’ll use tantrums, the silent treatment, even tears to get you to do what he wants, which is to pay attention to him and stroke his ego.
He won’t realize that since you really don’t care that much, his tantrums don’t really affect you. But if you’re a kind-hearted soul and don’t want to see him suffer, he may win his point.
#9. He’s using you for revenge
One type of desperate guy is really trying to get another woman back. He’s desperate to show her how desirable he is to you in the hopes of making her jealous. He’ll take you for dates at the places and parties where she is most likely to be.
Sometimes a man is obviously desperate, and sometimes, it’s harder to tell. But if you’re feeling the relationship move uncomfortably fast or your feeling suffocated, it’s a good bet you found a desperado. Time to move on and break up as a couple.