8 Compliments Women Love
“Hey, you are so hot! How about a little smooch! Hey, baby, don’t walk away! Why don’t you come back and see what I got for you!” It is hard to believe that some men really think this is what women walking on the street want to hear. For so long, and even now, women have heard “compliments” that compare them to pieces of choice meat. This is not what they want to hear.
Women, like men, are complex. No two women are exactly alike; some are still trying to find out who they are, while others are confident and know what they like. If this is the case, how do we know what compliments women want to hear? It helps if we look at human nature. Out most basic needs are to feel safe, valued, loved, and in control of our lives. This holds true for women in relationships, too. Here are eight compliments women love to hear.
#1. “What are your thoughts about…”
Women, like anyone else, want to know that their views are important. If you are in a relationship with a woman, include her in decision-making. She will feel valued and included in the important parts of daily life. Equally important to asking her opinions is honoring those opinions. Do not ask a woman for her opinion and then promptly ignore it. If this happens, it is as if she has been told her thoughts do not count after all. She will feel worse than if she hadn’t been asked in the first place. It is all about empowerment and giving women (especially younger women who may not have years of experience in the world to build assertiveness) a chance to blossom. If both of you are young, it is a good thing to put your heads together and brainstorm ideas. You may not want to be lectured by older adults, so together, you can make decisions on your own.
#2. “You are really smart, and I find that attractive.”
Too many women and girls are told that in order to be valued in the world, they must be pretty and thin. Not enough girls are encouraged to develop their minds as well as their bodies. Women are turned on by a partner who sees their inner potential as well as their figures. Again, younger women may have had a more liberal upbringing, but this is not always so. Building a woman’s self-confidence will make her a better partner because she will be better able to pull her own weight. Women, like men, want to feel good about themselves. That being said, do not lie to a woman; she will know if you are lying. If she hasn’t had a good education, encourage her to learn (give her books, let her take classes, etc), but never call her stupid.
#3. “You are easy to talk to.”
Women like to think they are good communicators, and they want to find someone who is a good communicator too. This may be a stereotype, but most women do use verbal communication to affect the world around them. Talking is their domain. Finding a partner who appreciates this aspect of their personality is uplifting, and it makes them feel more comfortable talking with you. Communication is vital to a healthy relationship, and starting things off with a compliment like this is a good first step.
#4. “Tell me more about…”
Everyone wants the listener to be interested in what he or she has to say. If a woman is talking about a hobby, career, field of study, or some other passion of hers, ask her specific questions about it. First, this shows that you are listening, and second, it shows that you care about what interests her. Women find good listeners sexy. Also, like anyone else, they love to talk about themselves. Give them a chance to express themselves; you will get your turn. If you find yourself not interested in her pursuits, perhaps she is not the right one for you. It is better find this out early in the relationship.
#5. “I am sorry you are upset. Tell me all about it, and I will just listen.”
One important thing to remember is not to offer advice unless she asks for it. That is a pet peeve for many women. Most of the time, they want a sounding board, not a Mr. Fixit. If you find yourself formulating your next answer rather than listening to her issues, you are not really listening. Once again, this may be a stereotype, but much of the time, talking things through is how women process difficulties. If they can count on you to listen, it will make your bond much stronger. If you take control of the discussion and tell them what to do, they will shut down.
#6. “You never stop surprising me. That is what I love about you.”
Women love to feel unique and special. In reality, they are; no two women are alike. Telling a woman that she is infinitely interesting and complex is a serious turn-on. It tells her that you are willing to spend a lifetime getting to know her, and that is how long it will take. She is not superficial. Her mind, her personality, her ideas run deep. Perhaps this is not something you would say on a first date. Wait until you have gotten to know her a little better; otherwise, it will sound like a pick-up line.
#7. “I’m proud of you.”
Make sure you do not say this in a patronizing way. Like anyone, women like to hear that their partner is proud of their accomplishments, big and small. Perhaps you are proud of the person they are and the person they have become. Maybe they have overcome an obstacle, or a personal struggle. Maybe it was a critical deadline at work, or a breakthrough with a difficult child. Maybe it was just the fact that they showed strength of character in a situation. Any of these situations can call for this compliment. Being genuine is the most important thing you can do for a woman.
#8. “I love you.”
Sounds pretty simple, doesn’t it? This one is not always easy for people to say, especially when they don’t mean it. So don’t say it if you don’t mean it! Wait until you know for sure, and that you mean it from the heart. Women love to hear this more than anything else when it is genuine. Beyond security, love is one of the most basic human needs there is. No wonder women love to hear it.
Reread this list of compliments. Do they sound like things only women want to hear? For the most part, no. Everyone wants to hear these (except perhaps the listening to problems rather than helping to “fix” them). People are complex; what may work for one person may not work for another. It is important to get to know the woman before trying any of these out. Essentially, however, women want to be safe, valued, loved, and in control of their lives. If you want to compliment a woman, help her feel those things. Do not damage her self-esteem to build yours. Build a partnership that will last a lifetime.