How to Get Her to Commit
Women are just as afraid of commitment in a relationship as you are. Believe it or not, it’s a secret most women harbor. Today’s girl is not looking for a meal ticket.
She’s not willing to latch on to the first great guy that comes along. You are probably not the first great guy, but if you think you’re the one for her, here are some ways to bring her around to your point of view.
#1. Find out where you both think the relationship is going
First, make sure she knows you aren’t dating others. Find out if she is. If you have a disconnect about your relationship today, you won’t be able to get together on the future.
#2. Her expectations from the relationship
If you both are only dating each other, ask her what she wants most from the relationship. If she’s talking about a good time, a date on holidays, then she’s not looking at the long-haul. You’ll need to have patience and let your relationship develop before she’s ready to settle down.
Or if your relationship doesn’t develop, you’ll need to let her go and find someone else. If she wants partnership, support and a future with you, then her reluctance to commit may just be fear. You can overcome that fear by proving your own commitment.
#3. She may be unsure
Your girlfriend may also say she doesn’t know what she wants. She knows. She just doesn’t want to tell you. She may be afraid of giving you too much encouragement and being suffocated.
Or she may be afraid of scaring you off by admitting that she’s already picked out names for the kids. Either way, if she’s reluctant to talk, let her actions speak for her. If she’s acting committed, she will likely be willing to give you the verbal promise after some time.
#4. Show her what commitment means to you
If she’s unsure about you, don’t take offense. Show your commitment through actions without demanding any promises from her. Start supporting her and going after your goals together. Remember, she may have romantic scars from previous relationships. She may have committed to other men who then left.
Small actions will also show her that you are a great partner. Help with day-to-day problems. Be there for her bad days. If you really are ready to commit yourself, then these actions will come naturally. When you see that she is supporting you as well, you’ll know that she’s feeling more comfortable with commitment.
#5. Take your time
After all, you want to spend eternity with her. So don’t push for the next step right away. You may realize that she is the one long before she does. Don’t push. As long as you two are getting closer and growing as a couple, the commitment will come.
It’s also a good idea to give her some air. Let her have the space to miss you. Let your being together be her idea sometimes so she will realize how much she’s come to love having you around.
#6. Fish or cut bait
At some point, however, you do want that vow. When two people are ready and they publicly announce their attachment, they are more likely to stick with that relationship when it gets tough. If you and your partner have been growing together for a few years and she still doesn’t want to take the next step, there may be something deeply wrong.
Consider if you should stay with her or find someone who is willing to partner up with you for real. This is the time to let her know that if she can’t commit, you are moving on. When you take this step, you have to mean it. Be ready to follow through and truly move on if she chooses not to commit.
Men are supposed to be the classic commitment-phobes, but women have plenty of reservations, too. She most likely needs your reassurance and support to help quell the jitters. If it’s right, she’ll come around and you’ll both love your “ever after.”