Are You Dating The Wrong Person?
Have you ever looked at your partner and asked yourself “What am I doing with you?”
It may be important to ponder the answer to that question. Does your gut tell you that maybe this is not your soul mate? Or are you just having commitment issues?
Here’s 10 signs that you two are really not meant to be together.
#1. You’re not glad to see them
First of all, imagine that your partner is about to walk in the room.
What do you feel?
Are you nervous, upset, or worried?
If you are not looking forward to seeing or talking to them, it’s a good bet you won’t be happy when they finally arrive.
#2. You’re embarrassed to introduce them to friends and family
How do you feel when friends or family meet your partner? Are you proud and boastful?
Or do you try to minimize contact, keep them separate from your friends or feel ashamed of them or even of yourself. If you can’t be proud of your partner, you two won’t be happy together.
#3. You can’t just be yourself
When you’re with your lover, do you feel that you have to act unnaturally? Do you have to be more outgoing, more aggressive, or more passive than you are comfortable with? Do you think that being yourself isn’t good enough?
If so, this is not the mate for you. You can’t build a relationship on the possibility that you will change your nature. And if you do, you’ll never feel comfortable in the partnership. It’ll be based on a lie.
#4. You’re opposites in every way
Happiness in a relationship depends a lot on both people valuing the same things. Sometimes, dating someone very different is fun and eye opening.
But for the long term, being with someone completely unlike you can be exhausting. If one of you loves noise and chaos and the other likes serene, ordered surroundings, you will not enjoy spending much time together. Also, before making a long-term commitment, be sure you both agree on major issues like money, religion, and children.
#5. You’re exhausted and impatient around your partner
When you’re with the wrong person, you are constantly struggling to make it work. All relationships require work, but if you’re exhausted after being with your girlfriend or boyfriend, you may be working too hard. Fatigue may cause you to lose patience and lash out.
You might pick a fight for no reason and then feel really bad without knowing why you were so mean. Alternately, you may walk on eggshells to avoid confrontation. If you’ve been truly tense, you may even notice soreness in your shoulders or leg pain after spending time with your partner.
#6. Relationship anxiety is causing health problems
When the relationship is wrong, your stress might show up as health problems. Stomachaches, headaches, irregularity, or frequent colds will signal a problem. Overeating or loss of appetite also indicates stress or depression caused by the connection.
#7. You lips say ‘yes’, but your body says ‘no’
Listen to your physiology. You can’t fake sexual excitement. If your partner doesn’t turn you on, then your relationship is doomed.
Couples have ups and downs in sexual compatibility and intimacy will mature over the years, but you should have some physical reaction to your partner or it’s not a good match; you’ve just got someone who takes up half the bed.
#8. Your partner doesn’t take you seriously
If after 6-12 months, your partner refuses to take the next step, you could be with the wrong person. A mate who won’t commit either doesn’t see you as a long-term prospect or cannot handle a real relationship. Your partner may also make you a lower priority than other friends, family or a job.
They may treat you more like an accessory than a partner. If you can’t rely on your partner to be there when you need help or if they break promises regularly, then this is wrong person for you.
#9. Your relationship is based on abuse
If there is any physical abuse, end the relationship immediately. If there’s not physical abuse, is there mental abuse? If you feel your partner is playing power games, undermining your independence, or withholding affection to punish you, then you may be in a mentally abusive relationship that you have to get out of right away. If you are at all afraid of your partner, listen to your fear. This is not the right one for you.
#10. It’s either this one or no one
It may feel that if you don’t make this relationship work, you won’t get another chance, but that perspective is flawed. You can’t possibly know who else might be out there waiting for you while you hide in a bad relationship. If you imagine spending every day for the rest of your life with your partner and it makes you cringe, then it’s best to leave the relationship. Take the energy you’re spending on making this one work to find the next, and take the lessons you learned from dating the wrong person to help you spot the right one.
It may take some time to realize you’re in the wrong relationship. As you get to know your mate better and learn how you both interact, you may slowly realize that it’s not true love. It’s also not the end of the world. You can still be grateful for what you did get from the match and still feel affection for your partner, but in your search for the “One,” it’s time to move on.